Change of [ ]

I can't believe it. I really can't. It's been eight months. Eight months, since I cashed out, shed tears, skipped town, and left everything I know behind.

It's amazing how fast the heart can change. I went from simply liking, to obsessed, to slight/extreme dislike (winter), to infatuation. 

What could it be that causes me to feel like this? 

Do I have to leave? No, I should stay. People need me here. I need people here. Can I stay? No, I should leave. People need me there. I need people there.

Love. 

Outside of Manihuales, Chile

I love the fact that my face hurts often from smiling. I love that my students, rush to me for high fives, secret handshakes, and whatever else. I love that my host mom and can sit and talk about pretty much everything, despite my still limited vocabulary. I love empanadas, kuchen, and lentejas. I love that I have family all over the world, but it doesn't make it easier.

I've started packing, but I can't stay focused for too long. Something holds me back. I know that eight months is a very short time in comparison to the twenty-four years I've been around. However, here we are again, on the cusp of adventure and I feel like I'm leaving my family again.

_________

And now a couple letters:

Queridos Familia y Amigos de Chile,

Gracias por todo. Son asombrosos y generosas. Mi familia es más grande y pienso que estoy mejor porque yo les conozco. Espero que ser como la gente aquí con corazones grandes y todavía más grandes sonrisas. Queiro a recordar los sentimientos de felicidad y alegria que senti con mis amigos y familia chilena. Estoy diciendo nos vemos por un ratito. Gracias otra vez. No puedo creer que es el momento de dejar.

Con gran amor,
J

Dear Family and Friends in the USA,

Thanks so much for supporting me thus far. It's been an amazing journey, and it's hard to believe that it's ending. But let's be honest, this isn't the end, just another beginning. I'm coming home really soon. To be exact, I fly in December 11. As I transition back to living in the US, please be patient with me. I want to see you all and tell you everything. However, I ask for a little time to figure out what's happening. But on a side note, I will be in need of a job soon, so if you know anyone who's hiring, feel free to drop a line.

With Love,
J

Nos vemos Pronto Chile (See you Soon, Chile)