Making a Living

Today, is one of those days that made me realize I'm not going to be in Chile forever. Thinking about having to say goodbye to my students is hard. They may be typical teenagers, meaning that they act uninterested and too cool for school; but at the end of the day they are kids. They like high 5's and stickers, they are curious and they crave attention.

It's one of those days where I realized I'm not going to be around forever, period. I know it's a very sombre thought. All the same, today if I died, I would be happy. Some of you might be shocked by the abrupt confrontation with such a dismal topic. Why? Death is a reality, and putting it in a box in the back of your mind is just as unhealthy as a young person talking about death. Sugarcoating it only makes it more unbearable.

To be clear, people dying shakes me up too, and brings up emotions I dread and am sometimes ashamed of. For instance, I not unlike many people often think of crying as weakness. Even though everything and everyone tells around me says otherwise. However, I would say it's healthy to think about death occasionally. Death reminds me of how fleeting life is and gives me such a zeal to live better.

So why do I think I could die happy? It's not because I picked up and moved to Chile, although I didn't know I had the courage to do it, until I did.

Today, as I sat at a Mother's Day Celebration for the junior students and their parents, my mind wandered once the conversation went well beyond my capacity for understanding Spanish. After singing a couple songs earlier that evening, I was relieved to sit and enjoy the celebration. Laughter, talking, and love were everywhere. I was able to connect with a few parents and tell them about the progress of their children, but this was peripheral. Being there alone was meaningful. I've been here long enough for students to call me tia (aunt), to receive besas (kisses), and lastly to feel a sense of belonging. I'm started to feel connected here. My story is now our story and I have new responsibilities now.

One of the questions that constantly comes to my mind is: what am I doing with my life? Having now faced a few failures in the classroom myself and a fair share of my fellow teachers frustration, I really started thinking what am I doing here? This past two weeks I've worn many different hats: singer, soccer coach, teacher, student, and big sister. Many of these things are not what I signed up for. 

Besides, the obvious reason that I'm here: teaching students English. I'm realizing that I'm here to support those who are working so hard to help these children. I'm also here to dispel rumors people from the US. In short, I'm here to be here. Right now that means taking on different responsibilities graciously and actually doing them well. There are days when I just want to coast by and just let time run out. But that's not what I'm here for and that's not what I'm about. It's easy to get through life, it's really hard to live it.

Life itself is why I could die happy, because think I can say I am living a good life.

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Festivities, Hikes, and Other Fun Things

Liceo Josefina Aguirre Montenegro

Laguna Verde, Reserva Forestal Coyhaique

My Head Teacher Cecilia and I

Dia De Los Alumnos Games

Top of Las Piedras, Reserva Forestal Coyhaique

Heading to Laguna Verde, Reserva Forestal Coyhaique

Traditional Chilean Music: Staff honoring Students with song and dance

We cannot all do great things, but we can do little things with great love. -Mother Teresa

Senora Lupe (Our Principal) and I

Chilean National Dance: The Cueca

Road to the Reserva and my house

Pawel, my hiking partner in crime